More Adventurous
More Adventurous
Dear Universe,
I am in Italy now, and I enjoy it a lot. I'll be back next year, and I know that then I will have to start working again, which I'm not excited about.
Actually, I'll make a list. I think that few enough of you read this that I won't be putting myself in any danger by writing it down. You readers are wise and true (as far as I can tell!) so I can use any advice.
I am not excited about:
1) Having to work and do well for another semester.
2) Dealing with my personal failings.
3) Making money to stay in school.
I am hopeful for:
1) The work God is doing in my heart and my life.
2) Climbing, drinking tea, coffee, and wine.
3) Getting closer to other people and finding my path.
4) The world to come!
5) Trying to read my Bible.
6) Planning a life and trying to find it!
Number 6 is kind of a repeat of 3, but it is something that is often on my mind, and I'm so unsure of the future, and nothing that I set down is ever really certain, because anything can change.
I know that the only thing that will never e'er change is that God is good and that He loves me, and it is here that peace and hope are to be found, and every time I look for it elsewhere I'm doing wrong and am going to be frustrated.
Oh it's all pretty nerve-wracking!
But there are times when I am feeling God's love and everything is taken care of and I'm totally at peace. Oh I wish now was one of those times.
-Kevin-
posted by Kevin K. @ 1:18 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Kevin,
I wish it were one of those times too. I've got no real advice to offer, because I'm mostly dealing with the same things. And I'm scared too.
I suppose God sometimes chooses to leave us in that --falling off the edge of a cliff-- type of feeling so we will trust Him. Isn't it annoying? We just want our own sense (delusion) of security back. We just want to do it ourselves. The shattering of this delusion is another one of God's countless forms of mercy. Someone pointed out that God even uses our false perceptions of His absence to...I don't know, grab us by the face and shake us. This is going to happen for the rest of our earthly lives, because we keep returning to that delusion, in many different forms. In other words, welcome to the terrible world of idolatry. At least God will keep plucking them out of our hearts even as we create more. He is faithful to continue refining us until we brilliantly reflect His image. I look forward to when that's done too, but I sometimes suspect that I want relief from being broken in a broken world more than I want/believe in God's promises of something I can't even imagine...being sinless in a redeemed world and seeing His face.
I've got more thoughts on this that I'll tell you later, if
-you want to hear them,
-I remember them,
-they still make sense to me.
I'm praying for you, and I'll see you soon.
God bless,
Crystal
haven't seen you around for awhile...you not a blogger anymore??
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